


D Major

by star_pilots



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Band Kid Ben, Ben is shy and earnest, Ben plays clarinet, Cheerleader rey, F/M, First Meetings, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Mentions of Cancer, Pining, Public Hand Jobs, Rey is a Palpatine (Star Wars), Rose is a band kid too, Strangers to Lovers, Underage Masturbation, Vaginal Fingering, high school kids are terrible, in this fic anyway, lonely little bunnies, move those fingers boiiiiii, okay so at this point ben is 18 and rey is 17 so im keeping underage, perfectly bratty, rey is a brat, that lead to good things hehehe, they both are, theyre both seniors but tagged underage for cusp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:20:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29768526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_pilots/pseuds/star_pilots
Summary: Rey's friends are awful, putting her on the spot in front of everybody simply because she hasn't been fingered on the school bus like everyone and their damn mother has. It's not that she feels left out, but she wants to be touched on her terms and she won't do it unless her terms are going to be met.Ben plays clarinet, and his shy earnestness makes Rey have a change of heart...and he promises that he can give her what she wants. What she doesn't expect is how much more he can give.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 38
Kudos: 140





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> akjdeaklfnwe i feel no remorse for the terrible title because its perfectly stupid and cute and appropriate. i'm really living for nerd ben lately and i think he'd also be able to show rey a good time.
> 
> i have some ideas for expanding this a few more chapters but im working on a big multi chaptered fic that i want to edit and post soon, so im only going to if this gets a good response. i hope we vibe with that. 
> 
> anyway, on with the shenaningans.

Rey sat on her knees, blue-pleated skirt fanning over her thighs while she argued with Kaydel.

“No way! Why the hell would Bazine do  _ that _ ?”

Kaydel scoffed. She leaned back against the window with her legs crossed in front of her, taking up the whole of a three-seater. Rey’s own legs began to cramp, but she didn’t want to unfold them and be discluded from the conversation. She’d just been the one to interject before Jannah could respond.

“Why  _ wouldn’t _ she? Poe’s hot. Plus, you’re acting like it’s such a crazy thing to do when it’s not.”

Rey raised her eyebrows, not caring how bratty she sounded. “Oh yeah? Getting-,” she leaned in, “-getting  _ fingered  _ on the bus isn’t my idea of a casual afternoon activity.”

“So? I’ve done it. So has Kaydel,” Jannah said, nodding at the girl across from them.

Rey swung around to prop her arms on the seat behind her to gape at Jannah. “Y-you have? That’s so gross!”

“No it’s not!” Kaydel argued.

“Yes it is!” Rey said, clenching her fists. “These seats are disgusting. And there’s people around!”

Jannah chuckled. “Rey, all I’m hearing is that  _ you’ve _ never done it.”

“Yeah Rey. Just admit you’re a prude. It’s not our fault you’re unadventurous,” Kaydel added and crossed her arms over her own, more ample chest.

The bus stuttered beneath them making Rey bounce on her heels in her seat. “So? I wouldn’t want someone touching me... _ there _ when there’s people around.”

“Don’t think you actually want to be touched there  _ at all _ ,” Jannah mumbled.

“Ex _ cuse  _ me-” Rey was cut off by the bus bouncing hard again, then coming to a quick stop that knocked her into the seat in front of her.

“Oof!”

Coach Phasma stumbled up from her own seat at the front of the bus. Rey saw the hood of the bus smoking behind her in the windshield.

“Palpatine, I’ve told you to stop sitting on your knees!” Rey huffed and picked at her nails. She looked up to see their coach conferring with the bus driver before the small man let himself out to check out the problem. “Please stay in your seats, girls.

“All the way,” she snarled at Rey. Crossing her arms, she dropped down to her butt, half-up ponytail bouncing.

Kaydel looked around her own seat to the front. “Who’s Phasma on the phone with?”

“No idea,” Rey heard Jannah say behind her.

The bus driver gestured for Phasma to leave the bus. They conferred for a few moments on the shoulder of the road beside the unmowed grass. The driver pointed to the road behind them and Phasma, who was already frustrated, threw up her arms. Rey chuckled to herself.

“That’s what you get.”

The driver led Phasma back up and went to his radio, calling to another bus.

“Bus 66 to bus 218, we need your assistance. 66 to 218-”

“Girls!” Phasma clapped, then slung her bag over her shoulder. “Our bus has overheated and we’re going to need to share with another one to get to the game. It should be arriving shortly and when it does I need you all to load on and sit down quickly so we don’t lose time.”

“What bus?” Jess called from her seat a few rows back.   
  


“The marching band.” A chorus of groans erupted all around them. 

Rey groaned, popping up onto her knees again. “Are you kidding me?”

“No, I am  _ not  _ kidding you, and I’d appreciate some cooperation at this time,” Phasma snapped. “Now please, gather your pom-poms and equipment and be outside the bus with me in five minutes.” Then their coach stomped down the steps and leaned against the side of the bus, waiting for her cheerleaders.

“This is  _ so _ lame,” Jannah drawled, gathering her headphones and book and shoving them in her backpack.

“Yeah, the band kids are gross,” Kaydel moaned. “Like, do any of them know how to wash their hair?”

“I doubt it. They  _ definitely  _ know how to pick their noses where everyone can see, though,” Rey said, also put out by the whole situation.

Jannah and Kaydel laughed, and Rey was grateful they’d moved on from their conversation for now, even if she was pissed off and grossed out. She looked at the front of her own seat while she zipped up her bags, a blocky ‘S’ scrawled on it in permanent marker. She sneered. The whole act hardly seemed worth it.

Well, not in its entirety. Rey had fingered herself before. Frequently, actually. But it was always in the privacy of her own bedroom, quiet and alone. No one else had touched her  _ there _ before, which was just fine with her. She doubted the capabilities of all of the boys at her school, especially since she knew how long it took to make herself come.

No, fingering didn’t bother her and  _ no _ , she wasn’t a prude. She just didn’t want anything to do with the gross boys and stupid ventures of them and the girls at her school. That didn’t make her a prude, it made her  _ smart _ .

Rey ‘hmph’-ed to herself as she shouldered her own bag, sauntering out of the bus and standing next to Coach. All the other girls, groaning in their own right, lined up to her right. Rey didn’t say a word to any of them until the other bus, already full of kids, pulled up behind their own.

“Single file, and  _ be quick _ !” Phasma called behind Rey, and the girls raced up the steps. 

“Shit,” Rey groaned. Putting herself next to Coach made her the last girl that would get on. She didn’t want to get stuck next to some weird-o, so she tried to nudge her way through the crowd to the front, but all of the girls were moving too quick. Rey grunted, trying to at least beat Sabrina on, but the other girl just shoved her aside. 

Rey stomped heavily up the steps, mourning her lack of foresight. Now a bunch of them had been able to sit together at the front, not even needing to make room for themselves amongst the instrument cases, blue-tassel hats, and batons. Jannah and Kaydel landed the two end seats of the three-seater right in front of the emergency exit, right beside a girl Rey was pretty sure was in her Calc class. 

Seeing an empty seat right beside the emergency exit, stupidly stacked with more equipment, Rey raced towards it as the bus began to inch out onto the highway again.

Except, the seat was not empty. It was occupied by a large body with a mop of black hair, not even greasy, leaning against the window. His legs were splayed, making no room for Rey to sit beside him. 

“Palpatine, take a seat!” Phasma called from up front, giving Rey no other option. She tapped the boy’s shoulder.

“Excuse me,” Rey snapped. “Can you move your leg?”

The brown eyes, a bit hooded, glanced up at her, then his lips parted.

“Oh, yeah. Uhm-sorry,” he said, pressing his large thighs together as much as he could and scooting over.

“Thanks,” Rey grumbled, though she was far from thankful. 

The guy was large. Half of her buttcheek hung off the side of the seat. Rey adjusted herself, huffing all the while, then she tossed her bag into the pile of instrument cases.

“Careful,” the voice beside her said, very low.

“What?” Rey snapped again.   
  
“You’re gonna damage the instruments.” He was not even bothering to look at her. His eyes flitted between the back of the seat in front of them and the terrain that now zipped by.

“Ha. No I’m not. All that’s in there is pom-poms,” Rey said. She leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms, then uncrossed them when she brushed his side. 

Rey could see Kaydel and Jannah talking from the seat up, calling to Jess and the other girls as they laughed. Rey was the furthest one back and she couldn’t see anything. She’d fall right over if she tried to prop herself up.

She thumped her head back against the seat. “Hey, can we at least switch positions? I feel like I’m about to fall off the seat.”

The boy turned towards her. Looking at him like this, he looked more familiar. Maybe she had a class with him. His cheeks were a bit red with annoyance.

He didn’t voice it. “Sure,” he mumbled. Rey crouched beside the seat so Phasma couldn’t see her, then the guy scooted out and turned his legs so she could tuck herself beside the window. Rey sat on her heels. Now she saw the rest of the girls.

Her elbows leaned on the seat. “What are we talking about?” 

Kaydel turned. “I’m telling Jess about Bazine.”

“Oh,” Rey mumbled, put-out that they were back on the subject.

“What about her?” The girl with bangs and glasses asked. The one Rey thought she had Calc with.

Jannah leaned back to look at her, an eyebrow raised. “Why don’t you mind your business?”

The girl wasn’t deterred. “ _ My  _ business is why my lab partner hasn’t done her half of our project that’s due  _ tomorrow _ . Spill it. What’d Bazine do?”

Jannah snickered, looking a bit impressed. 

“Bazine got fingered by Poe on the bus to model U.N.,” Kaydel said.

That grabbed the attention of all the kids in the vicinity, cheerleaders and band alike. Bazine had a reputation, one even bitchier than Rey, and she was hard to ignore. People seemed happy to know some dirt about the other girl. Even the kid next to Rey, a bit red-cheeked, was listening intently, though he tried to hide it under his hair.

“Huh,” the girl with bangs looked thoughtful. “Didn’t think she had it in her. Seemed like a bit of a stuck-up prude to me.”

“No. She’s fucked around. Rey on the other hand…” Jannah drifted off, and to Rey’s horror, dozens of faces swung in her direction.

“Jannah…” Rey warned. 

“Listen, all I’m saying is you’ve got your opportunity and if you don’t take it you can’t get mad at what people say about you,” Jannah said, palms facing out.

“Don’t get ahead of yourselves,” the girl next to Jannah said. Now she had both arms propped on either seat, back against the window, looking bored.

“What do you mean?” Kaydel asked.

“It means that Ben’s got a line,” the girl said, indicating the guy next to Rey.

Rey turned to look at him. His ears that peaked out from under his hair were beet-red. 

“Rose!” He snapped, trying to shut her up. 

Rose. Rey remembered her now. They didn’t sit too far from each other in their alphabetical order.

“A line of what?” Jannah asked.

“Girls waiting to get on that shmeat,” Rose said, inclining her head like it was obvious. 

There was a pause, then a few of the cheer girls laughed. That included Rey, her own being nervous giggles, until she looked down at the guy beside her. He’d buried his face in his hands. Her giggles caught in her throat.

His hands were huge.

Kaydel turned around in her seat to look at Rey, a faux-conceded look on her face. Rey clenched her fists, remembering what even brought them to this.

“Looks like you’re shit outta luck, Rey,” Kaydel said, shrugging as if she didn’t put her entire sex-life on blast for the fucking  _ marching band _ .

“Fuck off,” Rey called, too loud.

Phasma’s voice echoed down the walkway.

“Palpatine!”

Rey scoffed and crossed her arms, leaning back in her seat and stubbornly staring out of the window. Everything about her reeked of the conversation being over. People in front of her still tittered, over her or Ben, she wasn’t sure, but either way she wanted nothing to do with it, other than to bitch them out. Unfortunately, that couldn’t happen.

Yet, a question nagged in her mind. Not caring if it made her sound weird, or stupid, or whatever, she had to ask.

“Did she come?”

She felt more than saw Kaydel turn to look at her.

“What?”

Rey dragged her eyes away from the window, keeping her voice low enough that Coach and the band teacher couldn’t hear.

“Did Poe make Bazine come?”

Kaydel and Jannah’s eyebrows were both raised in shock.

“Why does that matter?” The latter girl asked.

Rey shrugged. “I was just wondering. I struggle to find why people are all excited about some girl getting fingered if she didn’t even get off.”

Kaydel chuckled. “You’ve got some weird priorities, Rey.”

“Do I?” Rey asked, holding the other girl’s gaze.

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is?” Rey leaned forward on the seat again, waiting for an answer. “What is the point? Other than having something to talk about and make other people feel bad for.”

Kaydel’s brow furrowed. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Ben pick his head up out of his hands, staring entranced at the seat. Even Rose leaned forward off the window.

Kaydel’s mouth quirked in a wicked grin. “If you had any experience yourself, I wouldn’t need to tell you.”

Rage licked Rey’s body, but she kept it together, knowing she was on thin ice with Coach. That didn’t prevent her from grilling Kaydel until the other girl turned away.

She gritted her teeth and settled back against the seat, watching the tall grass blur outside the window. 

She could tell people were uncomfortable by her outburst but she didn’t care. All those girls did was gossip, half the time keeping her out of the loop because of jealousy. They all used to be closer before she came under her wealthy grandfather’s custody in middle school. After years of growing tension, it hardened her spirit, made her even more angry where she’d been soft with hope. 

Now she had a family. It was the very thing she had begged for. Maybe she should have specified more.

A heavy sigh fell from her lips. The window blurred more with the fog. She shifted on her heels, feeling her butt go numb.

“Sit all the way down, at least,” Ben mumbled.

Rey huffed but complied, unsticking her legs from the seat and plopping down. They were both quiet. Embarrassment was a third person in the nonexistent space between them.

It made her itch. Rey liked to talk, but the people she’d talk to were the very ones she was pissed at. She sighed again.

“I don’t like my friends,” she said, low, to the window. Ben timidly turned toward her, unsure if she was speaking to him. Rey angled her head closer, but kept her eyes glued to the seat.

“N-not the biggest fan of my own right now either,” Ben said, speaking to his lap. “They’re really your friends?”

Rey clenched her jaw. “Yes,” she gritted out. They were the closest thing she had to it at least. “Why?”

A pause. “They’re not very nice to you.”

“How would you know?” Rey snapped, swinging around to glare at him.

His lips parted in surprise. Rey distantly registered their fullness. “Because they just advertised your s-sex-life to everybody.”

Rey gave a humorless chuckle. He couldn’t even say ‘sex’ without stuttering. It confused her based on what Rose had said.

“How are  _ my  _ friends much worse than  _ your _ friends, then?”

“I actually like my friends.” He said it so softly it didn’t register with her right away.

Her nose scrunched in anger. “Yeah? Do you like when your friends talk about your-...what did she say? ‘Shmeat?’” Rey’s arms crossed even tighter, wound up like a clock. She shook her head. “Boys are ridiculous.”

“ _ No _ ,” Ben said. His voice took on an edge unlike his soft stuttering. “I don’t like when my friends talk about my ‘shmeat.’ It’s embarrassing.”

Rey looked at his hand that he’d been worrying in his lap. His opposite thumb pressed into the heel of his hand and all the other thickened parts. He studied them like they were a test he had next period that he didn’t study for.

“Then we’re in agreement,” Rey snapped, but it didn’t have the bite she’d been maintaining. She was distracted by his movements. Unintentionally, her eyes drifted away from them, then she shook herself. “Can you stop?”

He did. “Sorry. I’m just a little pissed off.”

Rey quirked a brow. “Why are  _ you  _ pissed off?”

“Same reason you are.”

Her arms dropped into her lap and she turned toward him in her seat. “Nuh-uh. You didn’t just have your sex-life, or lack thereof, torn up by your teammates. In fact, you have ‘a _line_ ’ after you, don’t you? Give me a break. I don’t feel bad for you.”

“Why do you care about that?”

“I don’t care.”

“Then why are you bringing it up like it’s a good thing?”

“What, it’s not a good thing?” 

This was infuriating. Despite Rey having no desire to fuck around with guys at their school, she also wasn’t given many options. Her reputation was different from Bazine’s, though not by much. Rey knew everyone thought she was a stuck up brat. Thank god for her that she was one of the top of her class or she’d be in the principal’s office more often for getting into arguments. Her and Bazine were similar like that, except Bazine was getting laid and she wasn’t. Bazine relaxed every once in a while to make herself more enticing. She was a pro at switching the charm on and off. Rey just was who she was, and she couldn’t help herself once someone pissed her off. Guys were more intimidated by her than they were attracted to her, and she knew that they were actually very attracted to her.

Rey just wasn’t very nice. If anything, she prided herself on her honesty, whereas other girls, like Kaydel and Bazine, liked to twist things up just to mess with people, and Kaydel knew enough about her that she was getting good at it.

Ben looked at her like she’d grown a second head. “Why would a bunch of girls that I don’t know or like wanting to fuck me be a good thing?”

“If they don’t know you why would they want to fuck you?” Rey asked. At this point, her anger was eclipsed by some amount of curiosity.

Ben shook his head, avoiding her eyes. “It's...it's nothing.”

“No. Come on. You know about my stuff. That’s not fair.” Rey gripped the top of the seat.

“It’s-someone told someone about my, you know,” he said, gesturing at his lap and Rey’s eyebrows shot up, “from like, one time I hung out with a girl. She graduated. But now people still bring it up.” He refused to look at her, but he cracked his knuckles and Rey fidgeted in her seat. 

Rey didn’t know why she asked it, but she was known for being outspoken. 

“What do you play?”

Ben finally met her eyes. “Clarinet.”

She bit her cheek. “I didn’t expect that.”

“What did you expect?” He asked, softly.

“I don’t know...drums, maybe. Or like,” she looked at his shoulders, their width, “what’s it called? The big horn?”

“T-the french horn? Or the tuba,” he added.

“Yeah,” she said. Now she pictured the instrument, small from what she remembered, in his large hands. It was a strange thought. One that made her place her legs back facing forward and press them together.

“I did, actually. I played the tuba for a bit, but I wanted something more challenging.” Ben said. 

“The clarinet is harder?” 

“Well, the clarinet isn’t. The bassoon is. That’s my main instrument that I play in the pit.” At her confused look he clarified. “The orchestra pit. I’m in both. Marching band and orchestra. But they don’t really need bassoon for band so I march with the clarinet.”

Rey nodded. “So...the bassoon is harder then?” He nods. “How?”

Ben worried his lip a bit. Rey had never seen a movement like it. “It requires more air. You have to be able to exhale for a long time. And the angle is important, too. The reeds, like, the wood tips, are all different. So the way you place your-your mouth on them has to be more precise.” He glanced at her, then looked away. “The finger movement, too. There’s more keys, so you have to be able to switch them up quickly.”

“Hm.” They lapsed into silence, Rey’s head full of images. 

Ben wasn’t wearing his jacket right now, but the image of his shoulders stretching the blue coat with its gold buttons wide and the small clarinet clutched in his fingers made her furrow her brow.

Two instruments. She was on the cheer team by a thread because she kept getting into fights, but she was too good of a flyer to let go of. Her splits were good, if that counted for anything.

“They weren’t true, by the way.” Ben looked at her. “The things Kaydel and Jannah said about me. I’ve been fingered before, just not on a bus.” 

Ben made a choked sound and Rey chuckled to herself. So, it was only a partial lie. She’d fingered herself, and came, and that was what mattered to her. Who cared if it wasn’t some burly, sweaty dude who had no idea what a clit was?

“W-why are you telling me this?” Ben asked. At this point, they were whispering.

Her head rolled to the side and she met his gaze. Her posture had loosened, even more so than before their bus had broken down, and Ben was all knotted up with nerves. 

Rey felt like, given all that, Ben wouldn’t judge her and that she wanted him to know some sort of truth about her, one that no one else had even thought to ask. Everyone just assumed. It felt nice to share some sort of secret about her pleasure when it had been something she’d only ever had with herself.

Her shoulders just lifted in a shrug.

“Did you-I mean-would you even want to get fingered on a bus?” Ben asked, pushing his hair away from his forehead from nerves.

She’d told herself that she wouldn’t want to because the bus was disgusting, something she stood by, but there was more to it. “I mean...I don’t know. It’s not like I’m seeking it out or something, I just don’t let anyone get that close to me. I’m picky. I wouldn’t want some random, sweaty weird-o feeling me up just for nothing to happen.”

“Like-like what?”

Rey stared at him. “I wanna come. Otherwise, what’s the point?”

“You think that...that someone wouldn’t be able to make you c-come?”

“No. I know I can. I’m just not in it for the story, you know? I’m in it for me.”

Ben nodded. His mouth opened and closed a few times, then pursed shut.

“What?” He shook his head. “Ben,  _ what _ ?”

He mumbled something but it was said way too low for her to hear. 

“What was that?”

“I...I could make you come,” he whispered and Rey felt her heart stop in her chest. 

In her shock, her immediate response was snark. “You think you could, huh? Anything to get a hand in my pants.”

“You know what, forget it.” Ben turned in his seat, facing the instrument cases.

From what she could see, his hands kneaded each other again. It must have been a nervous habit, one that kept his fingers and hands limber for playing. Despite their worried movement, she could see how they could move, graceful and intentional. 

This away game was far, one that was going to put them on track for the state championships. They had...at least another hour of driving, and while other kids tittered around her, she didn’t care what they had to say. All she was interested in was the guy across from her and getting his attention back. 

He was shy. That much she could tell, and she knew she’d delivered a hard blow by rejecting him. Rey, building her own courage, reached out a hand and tapped his elbow. 

He feigned not noticing at first, then eventually spun around.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “That-that wasn’t cool.”

“I didn’t mean to, you know, pressure you or anything,” he said, even softer.

“You weren’t. I was just surprised.”

His mouth worried again. “Just surprised?...Not-” he stopped short, but she presumed. ‘Not angry’, ‘not scared, ‘not disgusted.’

“Just surprised,” she repeated.

Ben nodded and turned back to how he’d been sitting before. Now Rey’s body was still turned toward him and her knee brushed his thigh. She leaned back against the seat, looking at him. His smile was timid. Rey found it endearing, unassuming.

“So,” Rey broke the silence. “Think you could, huh?” Ben demurely nodded. “Come on. You said so yourself. Don’t get all shy on me.” A nervous giggle bubbled in her throat.

“I know I could,” Ben said after a moment. “I promise.” 

Whether he did so for his benefit or hers, Rey believed him and, while she glanced at his kneading hands again, she realized she wanted him to make good on it.

“Not for a story,” she whispered. Ben shook his head. “Okay.”

His eyes widened. “Okay?” She nodded. He swallowed. Rey watched it move the moles along his neck. He turned towards her, facing her more directly.

They stared at each other for a moment, Rey unsure of what to do with her body. She decided to settle back against the seat with a steadying breath.

Ben’s fingers brushed over her thigh and she trembled. He blessedly didn’t remark on it, just let his fingers drift up and down starting at her knee, then climbing closer and closer to the edge of her skirt where it fanned over her thighs. 

It was too much to watch his hand so instead she watched his face. His dark hair fell over his brow as he tilted his head. He’d turned himself so he shielded their actions, the width of his shoulders a sloping wall around her.

The touch was almost lazy, not rushed, but intentionally so. Her internal brat wanted to ask him to speed up like she did with herself, sprinting towards orgasm, but another part, the quieter one, was patient. 

A single thumb slipped under the edge of her skirt and rubbed the skin there. She knew she had a small tan line from summer practices. He breached that border between herself and the sun.

Her undershorts were the next thing he found and he furrowed his brow.

“You think we do all those flips with our asses out?” Rey asked, unable to help herself. Instead of waiting for him to answer, she tucked her thumbs in the top of them and slipped them down. All her movements were measured, trying not to call attention to them.

She glanced at his hand and held in a sigh. The top of it was crisscrossed with veins where it dwarfed her knee. The warmth of his palm dragged along her leg, creating goosebumps in its wake. 

His face was close. She could hear his little puffs of breath through his parted lips, feel them on her shoulder. Her face unconsciously turned towards him when his hand slipped under her skirt again, finding her bare thigh and the crease of her hip.

Rey wore her plain, comfy cotton underwear. She didn’t need a wedgie when she was trying to cheer. The material was soft. Ben hummed in his chest when he brushed over the fabric. It was a nice sound. She liked it. Some of his fringe, stuck to the seat, brushed her cheek.

“Ready?” He whispered. The ghost of his lips drifted over her ear. The quiet part of Rey won her over for now. She just nodded.

His fingers slipped under the waistband of her underwear, drifting down to her curls. She inhaled sharply. Ben looked up, finally meeting her eyes, then his hand traveled even lower.

He brushed her clit and she jumped, palms flat on either side of her hips. It was too dry, too sensitive, but he said he could make her come, so he bypassed that part of her for now and traced her lips. His palm cupped her and her body’s shaking slowed. 

For a few moments he just held her like this, applying only the lightest pressure. The clenching that happened...everywhere, melted out until she slumped against the seat. He worked his mouth again, then his fingers drifted down.

Wetness coated her opening and he exhaled shakily when he found it. He petted through, drawing it onto his fingers, then they drifted back up.

A small hiss left her mouth when he stroked her clit again. 

“Shh,” he said. 

“You ‘shh,’” she argued, but it was weak on her lips. 

“Do you want people to hear? Thought you didn’t want a story.” A roguish lilt in his voice. Rey shook her head. “Thought so.”

His fingers circled her clit, barely touching it, like he was waiting for something. Her chest heaved in anticipation, watching his face for changes. Instead, she found that she just liked looking. His skin was dotted with moles and the hair that framed his face was sweet and enticing at the same time. He had pulled his lower lip into his mouth in concentration. When he noticed her watching, he let it pop back out.

“You shouldn’t look at me like that. Someone might see,” he said. Rey liked how his breath fanned over her face and neck. She didn’t want to look away, but he was right. He knew better, so she nodded and turned her head towards the window instead. 

They made a faint reflection, one that no one other than them could see, so she watched him from there, her mouth a small ‘o.’ Even the blush that brushed her cheeks was visible.

Ben must have found what he’d been waiting for because his fingers finally met her clit. Her palms flattened beside her again, but not from overstimulation, but because she wanted to touch him.

“F-fuck,” she whispered to the window. Ben let that one slide. His fingers rubbed generously, and Rey bit her lip against a moan.

“Good?” Ben whispered and she jerked a nod.

Rey felt pressure building fast, something she hadn’t expected, but he stopped to dip a finger at her entrance. She moaned at the loss.

“I know,” he whispered in her ear. Then his finger breached her, little by little, in small thrusts. 

His finger was bigger than hers. It was like two of her own in one. She’d taken that much before, but never from something else. She gasped.

“Lift your hips a bit for me.” She flattened her palms and raised herself. He slipped his hand more directly under her so she could sit on his finger. It pierced her deeper, and her eyes met his in the glass.

“Better, right?” 

She swallowed. “Yeah.”

“You’re just gonna sit on it for a little, okay?” 

Rey’s nose scrunched, ready to ask what good that would do when the bus hit a bump, jostling her.

“ _ Oh _ .”

They sat there like that, Rey’s cunt bouncing on his hand, while they gazed out the window. His thumb drifted up and slipped over her clit. Her thighs tried to widen further but his body was crowded too close. The pad of his thumb rubbed back and forth over the softened flesh.

A feeble sound left her mouth, almost pained, and Ben let his head drift forward, forehead pressed to the nape of her neck.

“I know it feels good but you have to be quiet, Rey,” he begged.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, and bit her lip against another moan.

His hand worked in earnest, a finger thrusting while his thumb flicked. It was almost enough. Everywhere felt warmed, and his motions, the petting, brought all of the good feelings and concentrated them in one place.

A second finger slipped in beside the first with little resistance. Then they reached, pressing against her walls. Her chest lurched forward, then fell back. 

Ben’s eyes didn’t stray from her’s in the window except to watch his own hand between her wiggling hips. His eyes, already narrow, were slivers when he looked at her. 

Her breaths came fast and her throat felt dry, parched, all the liquid in her body pooling around his fingers. She was close, so close. She could come on his hand. 

Rey could come on Ben’s nimble fingers in the middle of a crowded bus. 

Her teeth clenched around a groan. Just a little more. Despite his wishes, she turned, watching him from up close. A small gush pooled low in her hips, releasing over him. Rey was grateful for the constant hum of the engine, the squeaking of the seats, and the chatter of her classmates, because the sounds Ben was making with his fingers in her cunt were so lewd, she squirmed in embarrassment and arousal.

Pink cheeks, plump lips, heavy-lidded eyes. God, she was going to come from looking at his face. He gazed back, and his other hand found the side of her neck. 

They were so close, their mouths less than millimeters apart. His breath, now she could taste it too between her own parted lips. A hand clutched at the front of his t-shirt. Then his hand pet her just right and her body bent forward, her lower lip dragging across his as she came, trembling, all over his hand.

Her teeth dipped into her lip against a moan but she still couldn’t hide it. Ben lifted the hand on her neck and wrapped it around her mouth. She sighed against his palm as his hands kept up their torment and she shuddered over and over. His cheek rested against hers, hiding her face from anyone who could see. Rey’s lashes fluttered, her body pulsing, and she let him.

When her shuttering dimmed to a dull hum, his hand slipped out of her and the other lifted from her mouth. They both leaned against the seat, facing each other, breathing heavy. Then a smile bloomed over Rey’s face.

What a wonderful secret they now shared. Ben smiled, too, and it was the first time she’d seen it. His teeth were a bit crooked. It made her giggle, delighted. 

Then her smile dropped in favor of awe when he brought his fingers, the ones that had been inside her, to his mouth. It was almost absent-minded, the way he licked them clean. Like there was no other way he’d tidy up her come. His other hand pulled at a pant leg, adjusting himself. It made her squirm in her seat. 

Ben picked up her shorts off the ground and handed them to her with flushed cheeks. She shimmied into them.

“W-was that okay?” Ben asked, as if making her moan into his hand wasn’t enough proof.

“Yes, Ben. You exceeded my expectations,” Rey chuckled. “Now I don’t know how I’m gonna follow an act like that.”

They locked eyes, and something they both knew passed between them in their small space. Ben shrugged, but Rey knew it wasn’t as nonchalant as he made it seem. 

The bus pulled off the main highway and began to twist and turn through the more residential zone to get to the highschool. Here, the bumps were more severe, and their bodies brushed each other while they rocked. They let it happen.

Rey wanted to ask him something else, but Phasma called back down the walkway once they hit the school zone.

“Cheer off first, and make it quick. The band needs to get their gear together.”

That broke whatever spell they’d drifted into and they straightened in their seats, looking ahead. 

They were slowing to a stop when Rey’s bag landed in her lap. Ben had grabbed it for her.

“Oh.”

Then he was up, going over to the emergency exit to sort through all the cases. All the girls popped up as soon as the bus lurched to a stop, eager to flee the cramped space, but Rey lingered at Ben’s back. She waited for him to turn, but he didn’t notice. Almost all of the girls were off the bus, and Phasma was waiting.

She grabbed Ben above the elbow. Even now his touch startled her. After all of that, what they’d done, she didn’t notice the thickness of his muscles here. 

He was startled to find her behind him and it softened a part of Rey that had long been turned to stone. 

“Ben…”

He waited, a clarinet case clutched in one hand, the one that had touched her inside.

“Thank you,” she whispered. She knew a few of the band kids were looking at her strangely, but she didn’t care.

“You’re welcome,” he said, and it was the surest she’d heard him sound. She walked backwards away from him, looking as long as could, then she turned. One more time, as she made her way down the steps, she looked to see him donning his jacket, his ears that poked out burning bright.

Rey fell into step with the rest of the girls as they walked up the sidewalk towards the bleachers.

“What’s got you so smiley?” Kaydel asked. Rey hadn’t even noticed her grin.

“No reason,” she said, thinking of Ben and their secret, and tucking it close.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey realizes why Ben looked familiar and wants to get to know the strange guy that defied all her expectations better, but Ben is a nervous wreck. With some threats from his best friend and a few unwelcome discoveries, Rey is both more angry and determined than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellooooo thank you so much for your kind responses! they made me excited and i started writing right away! totally shocking that feedback makes people motivated (...) im just kidding. i love these nerds and brat rey and shy ben. lmk what you guys are thinking cus id love to pump the rest of this out. i think itll wind up being 4/5 chapters :)))) loveeee

Rey realized why Ben had looked familiar once she was in her second period class the following Monday.

It wasn’t even a class, it was just a study hall in the cafeteria. The room was made up of mostly seniors that had gotten their extracurriculars out of the way, so now they had a free period to do their homework or talk about God-knows-what. 

On that Monday, they had a substitute teacher, so unlike the other teachers that get to know everyone’s names by the end of the first month, this one started calling out names. Of course, a few jackasses pretended that people called them names like ‘Jathaniel’ when their names were literally just John, but Rey just raised her hand when he said her name, narrowing her eyes at the guys still chuckling over their stupid jokes.

Rey was reading intently, trying to catch up on the book she’d been assigned for her literature class. It was always the work she saved for last because it wasn’t her strong suit and the words would simply blur in front of her eyes. After a full minute of reading the same passage over and over, cursing under her breath, Rey heard a familiar name in the long, long, list.

“Solo, Benjamin?” The young teacher yelled over the noise, tilting his head to try to find the kid in question.

A long, pale arm shot up over the mass of heads. Rey found it with ease, eyes widening. He was at the far end of the table from her, head buried in some work of his own, hair falling over his eyes. He was wearing a baseball tee with writing on it, probably some band. That’s all she could see. 

Rey realized she was staring and jerked her head back down, not wanting anyone to catch on. 

None of the kids she sat with were really her friends. Hux was alright. A bit too preppy, but he was friends with Poe, so on the first day he’d sort of floated towards her and parked there ever since. He was chatting with a kid named Mitaka. He was in Rey’s AP Physics class, so sometimes they exchanged questions about the homework. They two guys had matching parts in their hair, something Rey had pointed out on the first day, but they both had just raised their eyebrows at her.

So, Rey just mostly kept to herself and her reading until now. 

“Something wrong, Palpatine?” It was Hux, looking at her with a sneer somehow mixed with concern.

“Yeah, I’m just dandy. Why?” she huffed, feigning being busy by trying to read the passage again. 

“You’re all...flushed looking.” His hand gestured at his own face to indicate hers.

She gritted her teeth, pissed that today was the day she’d decided to skip her foundation. 

“It's nothing. I’m just a little hot. Mind your business.”

“It’s cold in here, though.”

“Well, this cardigan is cashmere,” she snapped. “I thought you of all people would know that.”

“I don’t spend as much time assessing your clothes as you might think.” Now his face mirrored what she was sure hers looked like. 

“That’s your loss.” Then she slipped down further in her seat and brought her book right in front of her face. Still, it was illegible. Rey peeked over the top of the pages to look down the length of the table again. Ben was still writing.

She would be lying if she hadn’t thought about him since Friday, because she had, quite a lot. Kaydel had pestered her about her ease and giddiness at the game, and Rey had only been a bit tempted to tell her. Yet, it felt better to dangle it over Kaydel’s head, just out of reach. 

Besides, her and Jannah had been the ones to bait her. That didn’t give them the right to know what she did once she’d snatched it up. The image of Ben’s hand, finely-boned and broad, just hidden under her skirt popped into her mind. She uncrossed and recrossed her legs under the table.

This wasn’t the first time she’d recalled the image either, and it wasn’t even the only one. She thought about her own face reflected in the window, making a little mess of herself. 

With a pang deep in her chest and belly, she remembered his wet fingers slipping into his mouth, too. Her thighs squeezed together under her skirt.

Rey wanted to ask if that was how it always felt to be touched by someone else, but two things stopped her. One being that she’d lied about her experience to her friends, so she’d be blowing up her own spot by doing so. Two was that she didn’t want to tell them who it was, partly because it was  _ none _ of their business, but also because they were walking monuments of judgement, and she’d already had enough of them.

Yet, it was the illictiness that made her squirm each time she remembered. Like their confusion or disappointment or disgust just made her want it all over again. 

She did want it again, but she wasn’t sure how to make that happen.

Rey debated if she should just let one of the guys that flirted with her in class fuck her, but the thought wasn’t exciting. It fell completely flat in comparison to what she’d already experienced. She’d thought that at least  _ someone _ who she flew in similar circles as would be able to make her come, but every time she entertained that idea, Kaydel and Jannah’s own words casted a long shadow of doubt.

So, Rey considered Ben from the opposite side of the table. 

Some people sat around in his vicinity, but they all seemed to ignore him. Not meanly, just that they maybe weren’t friends. He was a loner like her in this situation. 

Hux wasn’t much of a gossip. Instead, he just judged you to your face, and Rey respected that much at least. She didn’t think he’d notice or care if she went and sat with Ben.

Then, suddenly, she wondered if Ben would mind. This debate ran rampant in her mind as the guys that went by ‘Jathaniel’ paced back and forth, hyping each other up and gaining volume.

She decided that if he minded a cute girl sitting with him, that was a  _ him  _ problem. Just as she was about to gather her stuff and move, the substitute teacher decided to assert himself.

“Hey! I’m going to need everyone to find a seat and stay in it.” The guys looked incredulous. “ _ Now _ ,” he said, voice low. With huffs, they flopped onto their chairs. “I don’t want anyone getting up again for the rest of the period, understood?”

Rey understood, and she sunk somehow further into her own seat. 

“Cashmere too hot for you?” Hux drawled.

“Oh, fuck you,” Rey grumbled.

Somehow, she’d gotten to the end of her reading, even if she didn’t retain much of it, so she didn’t have to try to cram more in next period. Instead of rushing to her next class, Rey hung back, pretending to gather things together and glanced at Ben to see where he was off to. 

Just opposite the cafeteria was the music rooms and the band kids’ lockers. That’s where he stopped. She watched him turn the combination, then puffed up her chest and leaned against the locker next to his. 

“Hi, Ben.” 

His head that’d been tucked inside, rummaging for something, slammed into the upper shelf. 

“Fuck,” she heard him mumble, then he emerged clutching his head. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. A cute ghost, judging by his red ears. 

“H-hi.” Back to the nervous stutter, but she’d gotten through to him last time. She could do it again.

“Hi,” she grinned sweetly. She could be sweet! “How was your weekend?”

“Oh, uhm, it was fine. Just, you know, okay. How was yours?” His eyes darted between her face and the area around her, like he was distracted. Rey frowned.

“Mine was alright. I was a little hungover on saturday,” she admitted. Poe liked to host parties at his house after football games. Given that they’d won, it was a bit of a crazy one. She didn’t understand why his parents let him do that all the time, or if they even  _ knew _ , but she didn’t question it. 

“Really?” He looked confused by this.

“Yeah. I mean, we’re on track for states. Everyone’s super excited. Aren’t you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m excited-”

“Sup, Benjamin,” a third voice piped in. It was Rose, and she looked between her and Ben with eyebrows disappeared into her bangs. “Havin’ a little chat, huh?” 

Rey could tell she was just messing around, but Ben looked at his feet that he’d been shuffling, head dipped in embarrassment. Rey wanted to elbow the other girl for making him look like that. They were just talking!

“Hey, don’t let me interrupt. Dunno if Sarah will grant you the same courtesy, though.”

They all turned and sure enough, a petite girl, curvier than Rey with blonde curls was at her own locker, watching their exchange.

Rose tapped Ben’s shoulder. “See you in Lit,” she said, then disappeared around the corner.

“She on your line?” Rey asked without thinking, referring to the girl who swiveled away when they looked at her.

“W-what?”

“You know…” Rey said, glancing meaningfully at his crotch. “Shmeat.” She couldn’t help but giggle.

His eyes widened, then he ducked his head.

“Gotta get to class,” he murmured, then closed his locker and slipped past her down the hallway.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “What the hell just happened?”

For the rest of the day, Rey reran the encounter in her mind. Even Calc couldn’t thoroughly distract her like it normally would. She stared at the blackboard blankly, only snapping out of it when D’Acy asked her the answer to a question. 

Rey assessed the work done on the board and answered quickly. She shook herself, willing her brain down from its worrying. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Rose, turned in her seat and leaning against the wall, watching her curiously.

“What?” she mouthed, mustering as much attitude as she could. The other girl just scoffed, then ignored her for the rest of the class.

Rey was at her own locker at the end of the day, shoving all of her books inside, when Rose snuck up behind her.

“Oh my God,  _ what _ ?” Rey gritted out, now at her maximum ‘pissed-off’ with this girl.

“Listen,” Rose started, sounding serious. “I don’t know what your deal is, but you better watch yourself.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Rey drawled.

“Ben is a good kid. A super nice one, and too sweet. Whatever your plan is, don’t bother, because you’ll have to deal with me.”

“What, are you like his girlfriend-bodyguard or something?” Rey asked, partially joking, but she also wanted to know if she’d have to quit while she was ahead.

Rose scoffed. “Pfft, no. Trust me, I’m not interested.” Rey scrunched her nose. “But he’s my friend and if you hurt him I  _ will  _ kick your ass.”

“Think you can, huh?” Rey looked down her nose at the other girl.

“I don’t ‘think,’ I ‘know.’” Rey raised her eyebrows, but listened, crossing her arms and leaning back against her own locker.

“What’s the point of all this? I never said I was planning anything.” 

“You didn’t have to. I saw you all flirty with him. You don’t need to do that, by the way. The kid’s a mess with girls. You could just look at him and he’d trip over his feet.” Rey could argue otherwise, but she refrained. “But that doesn’t matter. You just need to back off.”

“What if he’s my friend too?” Rey snapped.

Rose looked stunned. “You? Friends with Ben?” She shook her head. “What did you guys talk about on the bus? The score from ‘Interstellar’?”

“No…”

“Exactly, you don’t know a thing about him. That kid’s been through the ringer, and if you have any plans to fuck with him, you’ll seriously regret it.”

Rey’s lips parted, wondering what had happened to him. “I don’t want to fuck with him.”

Rose pursed her lips. “Good. Fine.”

“But that doesn’t mean I can’t want to talk to him, or whatever,” Rey edged in, not caring how bratty it sounded.

“I guess I can’t make you do anything. I can just prepare you.” Rose sagged. “Just, I don’t care what you do. Just be nice to him. That’s all. I know that might be hard for you, but I think you can handle it.”

“You don’t know me that well. I can handle it just fine, actually,” Rey said, tensing her crossed arms.

“Good.” 

The girls stood there, sizing each other up.

“What happened to him?” Rey asked.

Rose raised a brow. “He’s your ‘friend’,” she airquoted. “Ask him yourself.” With a spin on her heel, the other girl stalked off, small instrument case in hand. 

Not that Rey usually cared about what went on in other people’s lives, save good gossip to get her through the boring moments, but what Rose said sat heavy in her stomach, churning over what she could have meant. 

A few days later, Rey tried to sit with Ben during study hall, waiting for him to find his seat before she got up to move, but Mitaka had a long list of questions about the Physics homework. He’d done the introduction of her most recent English essay for her, so she actually owed him. She stayed glued to her seat, eyes straying of their own accord. 

Ben didn’t stop at his locker, so she watched his slumped shoulders from a classroom's length away while they maneuvered through the crowded hallways. A freshman bodied her as they rushed down the hall, nearly slamming her into a locker. 

“Slow  _ down _ !” She bit out, and the kid only scurried away faster.   
  
The school was fucking ancient and all the kids were twice the size of teenagers from when it was originally built. She didn’t have room to catch up to him even if she wanted to. 

Somehow, Kaydel had the willpower to squeeze through the crowd to get to her.

“We’re practicing full uniform today,” the girl wheezed, tightening her ponytail.

“Why?” Rey groaned.

“‘Cus Jannah said. I didn’t ask, even if I think it’s fucking stupid.” Rey didn’t understand how the two girls could talk shit about each other to her then hang out like nothing happened. She was just the middleman for their bullshit, including their jealousy. Kaydel’s eyes scanned her new sweater, one that Hux had complimented earlier, then didn’t say a thing about it.

“You think Poe’s gonna have another party if we win?” she asked. She really had a one track mind.

“Is the sky blue?”

“Duh,” Kaydel said, slipping to Rey’s other side so she’d have to bear the brunt of passing shoulders instead. “I wanna fuck him next party.”

“Yeah?” This grabbed Rey’s interest.

The other girl bit her lip as if she was thinking about it already. “Mhm. My last lay was fucking garbage. He only lasted, like, three seconds.”

Rey didn’t have to ask if the other girl got off.

“That sucks.”

“Yeah. Wait, but did I tell you?” 

“Tell me what?”

“Wait, so...I think this was two times ago. I think? Snap wanted to have sex with me and I was like, totally not interested, so I just convinced him to go down on me. He did it for like, ten minutes.” Kaydel giggled like this was the height of mischief. “He was pretty wasted so I told him I had to go to the bathroom, then I just left.”

“Wow. You like, totally played him.”

“I know. I don’t think he even remembers it. He fell asleep right after.”

“I wouldn’t want to have sex with Snap either,” Rey supplied honestly.

“Me neither. Total egomaniac.” Rey couldn’t help but chuckle at the irony.

“See you later,” Kaydel said, slipping into a classroom without so much as a glance back.

“Byeeeee,” Rey drawled. She stopped by her own locker, grabbing an apple from the top shelf. 

She felt a presence at the locker next to her and she felt her shoulders sag with relief.

“Hey, Peanut,” Finn said. When they were assigned their lockers freshman year, she’d had bags of peanuts as her steady snack stream. She’d since gotten sick of them, hence the apple, but once Finn gave her the nickname it was all over.

“Hi,” she said, then threw her head back in a whine. “If I have to hear about who Kaydel wants to have sex with one more time I’m just gonna disappear in here.” Rey pointed at the abyss of her locker.

“Here, let me help,” he offered Rey a hand, and she knocked it away with a chuckle. 

Finn was her friend in the way that she was pretty sure friends were  _ supposed  _ to be. She’d known the girls since elementary school so they all felt obligated to stay close, but Finn was new to her life as of freshman year. They talked all the time, and saw each other every day, and it was easy. It didn’t make her want to tear her hair out.

“So…” Finn drawled, “guess who got Poe’s phone number?”

“Okay, slick. Since when were you this brave?”

“Since we got paired up for a group project,” Finn said, closing his locker and leaning against it. “It’s not the most romantic thing, but I’ll take what I can get.”

“Tell me about it,” Rey mumbled, somberly munching on her apple.

“What happened?”

“Honestly nothing. It’s just, like, the buildup or whatever. I don’t know,” Rey shrugged. “We’re out of each other's leagues.”

“You think you’re out of someone’s league? You  _ are  _ the league, Rey.” Rey scoffed, tucking her chin down. “I’m serious! You could pull whoever you wanted if you just let someone anywhere near you.”

Rey shrugged, seeing some truth in his words, but Ben’s own nervous reaction made her have doubts. She’d just have to try again with a different approach.

Finn was still smiling with the remnants of his own good news. It made her happy to see him happy. They had only gossiped about his crush every morning and in between classes for the past two years. Then she remembered what Kaydel said and her own smile dulled.

Finn noticed. “What?”

“Nothing. Just thinking of something someone told me.”

“Well, it looked like it seriously bummed you out. What is it?”

She sighed. “You might have to do some muscling in if you want to get to Poe is all.”   
  


“Yeah, we kinda knew that already,” he laughed sarcastically. 

“No, I mean...Kaydel is gonna try to hook up with him at his next party.”

It registered on his face, his smile turning to a frown of frustration. “Ugh, really? Come on, man. Can that girl give anyone a break?”

“Nope. No, nada, never.” 

Finn shook his head. “Damn. Well, I guess I just have to try and plant a seed before then.”

“I’m sure you’ll have some luck. I feel like if he were interested in Kaydel something would’ve happened already.”

“That’s true, they’re around each other a lot…” he drifted off. The hall was now too empty. They were going to be late. 

“I’ll see you later!” He threw over his shoulder and Rey just waved, sprinting. The teacher monitoring the hall was having none of that. 

“Ease up, Palpatine!” But she was too quick, turning into her class before the bell rang.

Rey went to her car after the last bell, searching through her trunk for her full uniform that she knew was somewhere amidst the constant mess.

“So fucking stupid,” she grumbled. She found the pleated edge of her skirt under a half-full bottle of vodka that she’d stolen from her grandfather’s pantry. She rolled it back as far as it could go. When she went back around to the driver’s seat, she saw Ben beside his own car, on the phone, pacing.

He was too far away for her to hear, but he looked frustrated. His hand brushed through his hair and held it away from his forehead. Rey kind of liked seeing more of his face. It looked more grown up. She frowned when he leaned against the side of his car and dropped his head in one hand. She didn’t like that.

The big sigh he took was visible all the way from her own car when he ended the call. For a moment he just stood there, not noticing her, then he picked his head up and looked off. She followed his eyes and scrunched her nose.

The girl’s soccer team was doing their mile run around the neighborhood or something. In a mass of bobbing ponytails, they all came around the corner. Rey scowled at their easy smiles. Somehow they even had enough breath to chat. They all had stupid good stamina that she didn’t have. 

Rey looked to Ben who was now red-cheeked. It took Rey back. He hadn’t even looked that flushed when they’d been together. At least not the first time. When they drew closer, he quickly turned to shuffle something around in the passenger seat, but when they passed he emerged again with an expression Rey couldn’t place. When she followed his eyes her jaw dropped.

He was staring directly at Bazine, who was laughing with the other girls leading the charge and was none the wiser. Rey felt an entirely different pang in her stomach.

Rey couldn’t take it. She slammed her car door as hard as she could and Ben finally swung around. She let him get one good look at her clenched fists and scowl, his own expression changing from something strange to...was that guilt? Then she turned and walked as fast as could back to the school while still keeping her dignity intact, even though all she wanted to do was run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor pining babies :,(
> 
> im @star_pilots on twitter come hang


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey confronts Ben and learns more about the sweet, silent guy than she expects. She makes him few propositions, but her confusion only peaks when a third unwelcome voice butts in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is super dialogue-y but i really love writing their mannerisms and conversations!! rey is insatiable and ben wants to be trusting, and a little bit of vice versa. i hope you like it :-) let me knowwwww

After what Rey saw, she fought with herself over what she wanted to do next.

She still hadn’t tried to sit with him in study hall. Instead she scowled at nothing, experiencing blissful quiet from the two guys. If she blushed at her own thoughts and when she glanced at Ben, Hux didn’t remark on it. One time pointing it out had seemed to be enough for him.

This went on for a few days. Rey oscillated between glares of anger and bouts of curiosity. Did Ben have a crush on Bazine? Is that why he’d been so interested by what Kaydel and Jannah said on the bus? It seemed likely, but he devoted about the same amount of attention as everyone else. Still, that didn’t explain what she saw when they were at their cars.

Sometimes something else wiggled in between the other two feelings, one that she’d never experienced before. 

Was Rey not enough? 

Everytime she thought about it she scoffed. If Rey was anything, she was honest with herself to the core.  _ She _ determined her worth, and she decided long ago that she wouldn’t want after something that clearly did not want her. She spent years wasting her own time doing that. 

So when this thought crept in, born of jealousy and competition rubbed off on her by her friends and peers, she got angry. Angrier than her resting experience. No one would make her feel that way, especially not some loner kid that couldn’t look her in the eye.

Though, she argued with herself because that wasn’t true. Ben had looked her in the eye, and when he did, it was like the whole world grounded to a halt so that the knowledge of what they shared could be savored when they gazed at each other across the small space of their shared seat.

Rey was enough. The finality of that settled in her stomach. Rey was enough, but she wanted to know more and what obstacles she would have to face in order to get through to Ben again.

A week passed since he’d seen her in the parking lot. As opposed to before when he must not have known or acknowledged that they had their study hall together, now he seemed to be dutifully avoiding her. He somehow found himself at the very opposite end of the table from her and he went as far as turning his back to her in his seat. 

Rey huffed at the drama of it all, drawing a quirked brow from Hux that she sneered at. So she caught him looking at his crush, and yeah, it pissed her off, but they weren’t dating. Rey wasn’t dating Ben and Ben wasn’t dating Bazine, so no one owed anybody anything. Ben just finger-banged her on a bus full of people, same as Bazine with Poe. She didn’t understand what the big deal was. 

He just made her come harder than she ever had, even after jerking off to thoughts of that day since it happened. 

Rey slammed her book shut. She’d finished the reading that was due already, she just didn’t want to be bothered by the guys today. They were used to her temper, but she’d caught it flaring up even more than usual and almost got detention for yelling at Snap in Lit over a line he misread. Grandfather would not like that, so she’d been trying to hold her tongue.

Still, she didn’t have any intentions of screaming at Ben. She just wanted to talk to him. Rey refused to agonize over things when she realized that her parents gave her up on purpose. If she couldn’t change it, she needed to move on. If she could change it...well, she decided she’d find out.

“Where are you going?” Hux asked, watching her throw all her stuff into her bag.

“Over there,” she nodded in the general direction of the opposite end of the table. 

“What’s over there-”

“Bye!” Rey said loudly, then marched across the room. 

There were a few seats around. The one across the table from him was free, but she decided to turn the chair in front of him so she could face him directly. It screeched when dragged against the linoleum, and his head jerked up from what looked like a sheet of music notes. When she plopped down, she noticed he’d been kneading his palms. They were almost pink.

“Hey.” 

“Oh. Hi, Rey-”

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“No, I haven’t,” he argued, but his tell-tale blush said otherwise. 

“Trust me. I know what it looks like when people make themselves scarce,” she snapped, but she softened at his wince. 

Ben struggled for words for a moment. “I just-I don’t understand why you want to talk to me.” As he said it, he looked around the cafeteria to see if anyone was watching.

“Stop that. If I’m not worried, you shouldn’t be either.” He settled back in his seat. She sighed. 

Over the past few days, she’d thought about this moment, hoping that she could get back to the place they were at before. Yet, it already wasn’t going as planned. Honestly she wasn’t mad at him, she was mad at Bazine and the fact that she didn’t know what was going on in his head. All of her friends were so upfront. They didn’t feel the need to hide anything. Either that or they were really good at it.

“Rose threatened to kick my ass the other day,” she said, slumping back on the old, plastic seat.

“W-what?”

“Yeah. Said that you were too sweet and I was too bitchy.” Rey chuckled at his expression. “I didn’t tell her anything. Though I did want to tell her you weren’t as sweet as she thought.”

His brow furrowed, then he ducked his head to look at his hands.

“I-I haven’t told anyone either.”

“Did you want to?” She asked, crossing her arms.

“No, I don’t think so. I don’t know.” He shrugged. They both watched him work his hands for a moment. “You’re not, you know, bitchy, by the way.” The last part was said softly, like it hurt him to think about it.

This surprised her. “Really?”

“Yeah. You’re just, like, honest. And a little mean, maybe. Not bitchy like other people…”

“Like Bazine,” Rey supplied, now watching his hands, too. Her face felt warm, but she refused to acknowledge it.

He was quiet, and Rey thought that was all she would get from him, but then he confirmed. “Yeah.” She heard him swallow.

“What do you see in her?” Rey asked, unable to keep confusion out of her voice. “I know she’s like, pretty, or whatever, but she really fucking sucks. Like, so much.”

“I don’t see anything in her,” Ben mumbled to his hands. 

“Oh, sure.” She huffed and looked away from him, pissed that he would lie.

“I don’t see anything in Bazine.” He said it with such ferocity she couldn’t help but be pulled to him again. His voice had that edge from when they sat together. It intrigued her to hear it again.

“Then why-”

“Rey,” he said, and she stopped in her tracks, holding her breath. “I’m serious. I don’t. Maybe-maybe I used to, or something, but I really fucking don’t.” His tone left no doubt, no room for argument on her end.

“Oh.” 

They just stared at each other for a moment, both a bit shocked with the trajectory of their conversation. 

“That makes one of you. Guy-wise I mean,” Rey added softly.

Ben huffed a laugh. “I’m sure it does.”

After another quiet moment, Ben continued. “Can I be honest with you?”

Rey leaned in. “Yeah, sure.”

“I still don’t understand why you want to, you know, talk to me.”

Rey wanted to bark at him that she could do whatever she wanted and that she didn’t owe anyone an explanation, but this wasn’t the first time he’d said this. It must have been weighing on him. Or maybe it was what he was used to; having to double check people’s motivations. As far as Rey could tell, Rose seemed to be Ben’s only friend. He might have done that on purpose.

It was a vulnerable thing to ask, Rey realized. One that told her a lot more about him than he thought. If he was being that honest, she figured she could be, too.

“I mean, Rose was right. You are sweet. A bit strange, but so is everybody, to be honest. I’m weird, too.” Ben looked at her like that was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard. “What? I am! I don’t tell my friends about half the weird shit I like, or have done, or how shitty most of my life was. Things have changed a lot.” She sighed, scanning him. He was hunched forward, but listening. “I feel like what I care about and what my friends care about is so different now, but I just don’t really have a way out even if I don’t like them that much. Like, sometimes I’d rather go see a weird movie than go to a party, but I’d also rather not be alone or left out.

“It's like, they all think they know me so well because my life is easier than it used to be, but they don’t. They really don’t,” Rey finished, swallowing and looking at her knees. She’d never told anyone this before.

“But...I do.” Rey looked up. His soft gaze and gentleness pulled something inside her, tugged at the quiet place she’d closed off. She nodded at him.

“You’re easy to talk to,” Rey said. “Like, even the other day. You’re not mean.”

Ben shook his head. “Sometimes I wanna be.”

“Why would you wanna be mean?”

“It's not that I want to. I just wish I could be, like if I had the option even. But I feel like I’ve always got to be careful about what I do.”

“What for?”

He paused. Instead of his hands continued kneading, they clasped each other tight. 

“My dad has cancer.”

Rey’s breath caught. “Oh.”

“Yeah. And it sucks, but I don’t want to make it worse for my parents.”

“And being mean would make it worse?”

“Being mad would make it worse,” he clarified. His eyes were fixed on his hands still. “They don’t deserve whatever might come of it.”

Rey shifted in her seat, reeling from the new information. “That sucks that you can’t be upset.”

“Trust me, I’ve been upset. I just keep it to myself.”

Rey thought about her own anger, the speed and fierceness of it coursing through her and frothing out at random moments. The frequency of her spells were what made it bearable. She felt them then moved on.

Looking at Ben, holding all of that in, she felt bad for him. I must have been eating him up. Even just the past few days of her worrying made her more aggressive and sleepless. It wasn’t fair. He was so nice. He deserved to be angry.

She leaned over to put her face in his line of vision. When she caught him, she dragged them back up so he was no longer hunching.

“Well, if you want someone to be mad at, you could be mad at me.” He huffed. “I’m serious! I could take it. I don’t care.”

She was glad that his incredulous look turned to one of consideration. “I don’t know if I should.”

“But I just told you it’d be fine.”

“I’m not sure what I would say. I wouldn’t want to-” he cut himself off, glancing at his feet again. She nudged one of his sneakers with the toe of her shoe.

“You could never hurt me.” 

When she said it, she knew it to be true. Even when she thought that he did have a crush on Bazine, she didn’t get angry at him. She was just angry to be a second choice, an afterthought again. “I’d just...I’d know you didn’t mean it. That you were still there, you know?” She drifted off, now unsure of her own proposal.

“I’m not sure what I would say…”

“You’ll never know unless you try,” she said firmly. “And you probably need to hear it yourself.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah. Sometimes I don’t even know what I’m angry about until I start talking about it. I just feel it. It’ll fill me up and I have to let it out, otherwise I might not even know why it’s there.”

Ben’s lips curled a bit, then a little breath of a laugh puffed through his nose.

“What?”

“I didn’t think I’d ever experience Rey Palpatine telling me to be mean to her,” he said. His honesty made her smile. Then that smile turned a little wicked.

“Well, I  _ really _ liked when you were nice to me, so…”

His large ears turned red. She could see it despite them being mostly hidden.

“I-I’m sorry for what I said the other day,” she continued. His head popped up, lips parted. “I know you don’t like when people talk about your body like that.”

“It’s okay. I wish I could say I was used to it, but I’m not.”

Hair flopped over his brow and she wanted to push it away. Not trusting herself, she sat on her hands.

“Is it really that bad? I mean, if I’m being totally honest, I keep thinking about the other day. Like, I am still kinda impressed.”

“Really?” The blush had spread to his cheeks.

“Yeah,” she chuckled. “All my friends don’t even know what’s good for them, clearly. They mess around but they don’t like, actually get anything out of it.”

“Seems kinda pointless to me,” Ben mumbled. Rey was glad he wasn’t stuttering anymore, that he felt comfortable.

“Exactly. I mean, like, I’ve come before, obviously.” Ben cleared his throat, then checked to make sure no one was eavesdropping, then gave her his full attention. His eyes were intent. It made her own widen before she continued. “But uhm, not, you know, like that. You have big hands,” she quickly supplied as some explanation.

“Did whoever you’d been with before not have big hands?” he said, too quiet. Rey blinked slowly.

She glanced at her lap. Her hands were still tucked under her thighs.

“No. Pretty small, to be honest.”

A dubious look on his face, he nodded. “I mean, size isn’t the only thing. If they knew what they were doing it doesn’t really matter.”

After years of practice, Rey knew exactly what to do. But, Ben was better and talking to him was nice. A pleasant surprise actually. Still, she wanted more of his touch. Or better yet, a combination of both.

“You should come to the next party at Poe’s,” Rey blurted out.

He lifted his head, showing her his raised brows. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Because he hasn’t invited me.”

Rey scoffed. “No one’s actually invited. People just show up. The only time they turn you away or kick you out is if you get too rowdy.” He was unconvinced. “Bring Rose or something. All the cheer girls go and the football team. I feel like it’s only fair if you come. We all work together, you know.”

He nodded and cracked his knuckles. “I’ll think about it.”

“Oh, come on. Do it for me. I bring my own booze, I can share with you.” Rey perched at the edge of her seat so that their knees touched. “If you drink. If not it’s cool. I know some kids that smoke if you prefer that.”

He lifted his head and the small smile on his full lips made her beam in return.

“Okay. He actually doesn’t live too far from me, so I can walk. I’ll try to get Rose to come.”

“Oh, yes!” Rey pumped her fists, drawing the attention of a few people nearby. 

Ben quickly covered her hands. “Shh,” he whispered, but he was smiling big enough that she could see the crookedness of it. She grinned and bit her own lip.

“You ‘shh’,” she said. His eyes widened in recognition. Hunched close, they laughed softly.

At the end of the period, Rey wasn’t ready to let him go yet, so they walked together to wherever it was they had to go. She basically had to walk the entire length of the school to get to her locker and her snacks anyway, so she was content to nudge shoulders with him down the crowded hallways. 

Normally, she’d be slammed into by all of the oncoming traffic, but Ben was harder to ignore. People swerved around him, making room for them both.

“What class do you have next?”

“Art.”

Rey’s brows rose. “You still need extracurriculars?”

Ben chuckled. “No, actually. I took it instead of a science this year.”

“No way! Why no science?” A large, red-haired football player’s wide shoulders knocked hard into Ben’s, pushing them both into the lockers. The locker at her back and Ben bodying her front knocked the wind out of her.

“What the  _ fuck _ , Dand?” she wheezed. The other guy just turned around and scowled. She jerked towards him with her teeth bared, but Ben swooped in to hold her back.

“Miss Palpatine, if the circumstances were different I’d send you to the principal’s office. Do mind your tongue,” Ms. Holdo said from the door of the nearest classroom.

“But Ms. Holdo, you saw-” but Ben, who hadn’t let go of her, gently spun her around and said “he’s not worth it” at her jaw, tickling the wisps of hair around it. He walked her a few steps with his hands on her shoulders. Her gritted jaw slackened after a few steps, replace by fluttering from his touch.

“I hate him. What were we talking about? Oh!” Rey said, righting herself so they were side-by-side again. “Why don’t you take a science?”

He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “It’s not really my strong suit.”

“You’re an ‘arts kid’,” she said and he nodded. “You’re like, the total opposite of me.”

“Really?”

“I’m  _ all  _ math and science,” she said, letting herself feel proud. “I’m in two right now, actually. Stats and Calc.”

“No shit. I’m barely passing pre-Calc,” he said. Rey could tell he was embarrassed.

“Wait, I could totally help you!” She clutched her workbook to her chest. “I can tutor you in study hall or something.”

“You’d do that?” His eyebrows disappeared under his hair, making his eyes round and soft.

“Yes, of course. I’d love to help. Not sure if you’re any good at English and could help  _ me _ , ‘cus Hamlet’s a real bitch.” Pride warmed her further, all the way down to her toes, when he threw back his head and laughed.

“Yeah. Yeah, I could help. I’m in AP Lit. We’re almost done with it actually-”

“Oh my God, hi guys,” another voice drew from behind. It would be pleasant, welcome even, if Rey didn’t recognize it in an instant.

“Hey,” she said, short, hoping to brush the girl off. She was undeterred, diverting her attention.

“Hi, Ben.”

“Hey, Bazine,” he said to his feet. The girl weaseled in between Rey and the lockers, angling her into Ben’s chest. It was soft and wide. She liked how it felt against her shoulder, but she hated the girl nosing her way in more. Rey glanced at his face. Under his fringe he was all pink and she knew it wasn’t from how they were touching. She clenched her fists.

“What’s up?” Rey asked, loud and in a tone that told that she did not care what was up  _ at all _ .

Playing willful ignorance, Bazine tossed her hair. “Nothing! Just heading to Lit.”

“Okay?” Rey said, not intending it to be a question. Ben tensed against her arm.

“Yeah. I just wanted to say that I think it’s  _ so  _ nice you guys are talking. It just, like, makes sense 

to me.”

“What makes you say that?” She felt Ben take his hand out of his pocket like he was going to reach for something, then it settled at his side.

“I don’t know. I’ve known Ben for like, forever, so it just feels right that you two would get along.” Rey felt her brow furrow. Why did Bazine know Ben? And how would she know anything about  _ her _ ?

“That’s cool,” Rey said.

“So cool. I’ll see you guys around!” she said, finally ducking into a classroom. “Bye, Ben,” she threw out the door, making him pick up so much speed that Rey had to run to catch up.

That was super weird. That girl had no reason to talk to Rey at all, nor did they ever have a cordial conversation, so the fact that she thought Rey and Ben would have anything to talk about made no sense to her. 

Bazine said she knew Ben, for a long time. It suddenly felt like Rey had been hurtled into an alternative reality where everything wasn’t that much different but a few things were super fucked up.

Ben had made it clear that he didn’t have a crush, but his reaction was so shocking and strong that she felt anger and confusion knotting up her insides. When she finally caught up to him she gripped his wrist.

“Hey, Ben, wait. Slow down, this isn’t a damn race.” He did with a sigh. “What was that all about?”

He just shrugged. Rey tried to meet his eyes but he refused. “You’re not gonna tell me? Why would Bazine have such a random opinion about us, huh? You know this isn’t just about you.”

Both hands ran through his hair like he did by his car the other day. All the fine bones of his face were exposed. Even in their combined frustration, she still soaked in the image. 

“She’s my neighbor and she’s always been up my ass, that’s all,” he insisted. She opened her mouth, unsure of what she was even planning to say, but Ben grabbed her hand and stopped her in her tracks. “Please, I can’t-I don’t want to talk about it.”

As much as Rey wanted to push forward, something about him made her decide to hold off. It was clearly messing with him. After how much time they’d spent talking, her softening and him relaxing, everything about him was taught, ready to let anything bounce off of him unremarked. Nothing would come of pushing him, she realized.

“Fine,” she grumbled, and heard him release a breath above her. 

They stood there in the thinning crowd at a loss. Rey mourned the change in him, like something delicate had been pushed off the ledge and they both just watched it shatter at their feet. They looked at the space between them, wondering who might be the one to clean it up.

“I-uhm, don’t want to be late to art. I’ll see you tomorrow?” he asked. Rey wished his voice didn’t sound so small. 

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” He nodded and walked down the hall, away from her.

“You’re-” he spun fast on his heel. “You’re still gonna come, right? To Poe’s?”

He thought for a moment and Rey feared he’d decline, but instead he nodded. A small smile formed on her mouth, placating, not wanting to scare him again, and she nodded back.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm @star_pilots on twitter!


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